Brass monkeys
Extremely cold. 'It's brass monkeys out there.'
"Brass monkeys this morning, scraped the windscreen."
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Brekkie
Breakfast. 'Big brekkie before the tramp.'
"Cooked brekkie, come and get it."
Bring a plate
An instruction to bring food to share — NOT an empty plate. Foreigners get this wrong constantly, to everyone's delight.
"Barbecue Saturday, bring a plate!"
Bro-in-law
Your mate who's basically family, or your actual brother-in-law - context decides. Affection either way.
"My bro-in-law sorted the tickets."
Bugger all
Very little; almost nothing.
"There's bugger all petrol left."
Bugger all on
Nothing happening; a quiet day. 'Bugger all on this weekend.'
"Bugger all on, might just chill."
Bugger me days
An exclamation of surprise. Gentle old-school swearing.
"Bugger me days, look at the size of it!"
Buggered
Exhausted; or broken. You can be buggered and your car can be buggered, ideally not simultaneously.
"I'm buggered after that hike."
Bung
Broken or not working; sometimes drunk. A bung knee is a Kiwi institution.
"The washing machine's bung again."
Buzzy
Weird, surreal, or intense in a good-or-bad way. 'That's buzzy.' Also a mild high.
"Ran into my ex and my boss together. Buzzy."
Cab sav
Cabernet sauvignon, or just 'the red wine I'm having'. Middle-NZ dinner-party staple.
"Pour us a cab sav, would you."
Cabbage
A fool, or someone not thinking straight. Gentle.
"Don't be a cabbage, wear a helmet."
Can't be bothered
Too lazy or unwilling to do something. Variants: can't be stuffed, can't be arsed (Coast).
"Gym tonight?" "Can't be bothered, eh."
Cardie
A cardigan. Nana-approved warmth.
"Chuck a cardie on, love."
Chch
Christchurch, in text and speech ('Church' or 'Cheech'). Garden City, Mainland's biggest.
"Flying into Chch on Friday."
Che
A cousin of chur — 'nice one', 'oh wow', 'neat alright'. One syllable, maximum efficiency. The correct spelling, according to roughly half the country.
"Check out my new lid." "Che!"
Chea
The long-form spelling of che, for people who feel one syllable deserves at least four letters. Identical meaning, twenty-five percent more vowels.
"Chea! That's the one."
Cheerio
A little cocktail sausage, the party-food kind dipped in tomato sauce. Not the goodbye (that too).
"Cheerios and sauce at every kids' party."
Cheese and vegemite
A NZ sandwich combo debate-starter (or marmite). Lunchbox politics.
"Cheese and vegemite or you're doing it wrong."
Cheese roll
A Southland delicacy AND a mild dig at a Southlander. Cheesy, rolled, regional.
"Down south it's all about the cheese roll."